The title says it all. “Why am I doing this?” or matter of fact, leaving a cushy paid job to strike out doing illustration. My portfolio, at the moment, isn’t the best stuff I’ve done. I’ll admit it. All of my best work are under lineart files or been flatted awaiting the next step on my computer. I started all this, posting sketches, works in progress as well as some completed work to develop history or better SEO ratings. So as the site ages, I’ll start to get better exposure in our digitally run world.
It is almost one year since this venture began and I see the outlook as a bright one going forward, for myself and my family. Many have stated I should wait but wait for what? So why wait? Wait for the right time? When is that? How will I know? These all give into fears I use to have when I doubted myself. No longer am I that person. In his corporate world I’m currently living in, where I’ve shifted to one manager to another in more times than we have seasons, has brought me no joy. I sit, waiting as my position gets sent overseas bit by bit. This, no matter how small it is still, has brought me greater joy than that world has. It has served its purpose and now, its time to move on. From encouragement given by Steve Rude saying “draw…start now” to Karen Hallion’s advice on getting a Cintiq, has made my life easier. So yes, not my best work as of yet but done purposely.
So a lot of what I’ve shown was done after my day job, during family time and at night. Rinse and repeat. I cannot maintain that any longer because eventually, something is going to break. I encountered this feeling when my oldest was three. My wife and friends would game on Monday night playing City of Heroes usually around the time my daughter would go to bed. We would read her bedtime stories and often times want more. It’s kind of hard being a parent playing a game while your kid looking at you wanting attention. So I stopped. During that time, I would read to her and once she was asleep, sign in. The same is happening to my youngest. So yes, I put down my stylist to play with her or read to her. At times, I give her the iPad to look at. That keeps her distracted but not for long. I also feel guilty sometimes, as my wife walks through the door and handing them off to her to illustrate. So yes, I will leave. Everyday the good Lord keeps sending me signs to go or how to handle the brush off. Very soon I will do so and when I do, I won’t look back. I can only move forward. As a Great White Shark. Constantly moving and living life.
So stay tuned, my best is coming. All famous comic book artists and illustrators where once amateur as well. “Have you paid your dues Jack?” “Yessir, the check is in the mail.”